Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have a reading level above third grade

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Why are black women the largest unmarried group in the United States of America?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Will my 9 year old face more difficulties than most girls her age if she’s an early bloomer? My daughter already needs regular B cup bras. The doctor says that my daughter will be even more developed by 11-12 years of age.

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I told my 13-year-old daughter that she should never start a fight, but has my permission to end it. She got suspended for ending a fight that some other girl picked with her by hitting her then retreating. How do I handle the school’s response?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What does pompano fish taste like?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What should I do if a girl whom I love asks me to be her friend?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Humans Age Faster at 2 Specific Times in Their Life, Study Finds - ScienceAlert

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Microsoft Starts Deleting Your Passwords In 6 Weeks—Act Now - Forbes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I can count

I see through liars

Why do some people have sex with dogs?

I can read

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

How does it feel to watch your wife get fucked hard?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What can be done to combat group stalking and harassment by an organized gang or society, particularly when they use universal sound weapons?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I am married for 3 years. My husband keeps pressing my boobs 40-50 times a day. He never stops though I ask him not to. What I should do to stop it?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What is it like to use a Fleshlight?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality